If you had to legally change your name, lets say because you were being relocated for the witness protection program after you testified against Brad for his high quality production and distribution of child pornography and you were afraid of my vengeful retaliation because I was annoyed that you put my supplier in prison and I couldn't get my fix, which one of the hollowing names would you take:
- Carlos Fitzjizzle
- Chang Wang
- Aristos the surprise chef
- Clarence McGaylord
- Dick Fish
- Antony Onios
- Chad Bradley
If you were convicted of molestation of livestock and sentenced to a mere three months detention because the judge found it funny, would you rather serve your sentence:
- with the choice of any amount of fine food / drink you want, on the condition that you have to spend thirty minutes each day passionately French kissing another man
- with the freedom to have any and unlimited access to music/films/books you wanted at the expense of being given a prostate examination every day, (the food in this option is typical prison food)
- you are allowed to have a daily conjugal visits from beautiful women and you have all the entertainment you want (music/films/games/books) however, your meals for the duration of your incarceration consist entirely of spiders, caterpillars and maggots
Finally, would you rather:
- jack off 50 dudes for 8 hours (like a typical fitzy work day)
- or give a bj to just one gentleman for 5 minutes