I have had lots of espresso from authentic Italian restaurants, including ones run and staffed by Italians in many countries, I have drunk espresso in Italy many times, I have had espresso in many coffee houses, and have never felt any explosion in my pants.
I have however, felt an unbelievably pleasurable experience from walking into a real pub with a blazing fire on a cold winter's evening (in a fireplace, not throughout the building!) and warming myself with an expertly produced and poured pint of Guinness with a proper whiskey (Jameson only), made up the road and not deteriorated by thousands of miles of importation, chaser.
You Americans really haven't sampled the pleasures of a real pub, real Guinness and real whiskey and when you do it will be YOU having the best orgasm of your life my friend
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Coffee is for waking up in the mornings, real alcohol (not pisswater Budweiser and cat's piss bourbon) is the joy of life my friend!!!