Ana and I are gonna get married!

[Fapuccino]

I bet you have plenty of sperms on yours :awwwyeah:

 

[Native]

Well... no... no thanks.

 

[Ana Banana]

It was a bright, sunny day on the 31st of February, 2012... back then I looked at it as the best day of my life.

The day of our wedding.

I was dressed like a pimp but that's the way she wanted it; on the contrary however, Ana's dress was nothing like I had suggested. It was red and blue. I was standing at that altar and I was waiting for her to show up. When she came on in that hideous dress, she was loudly whispering "Lindsay! Lindsay! Look! *giggles*" to some woman trying to hide herself behind a FC Barcelona scarf, sitting in a seat in the far corner of the room. That's when I thought things were starting to get suspicious.

However, we went on with the ceremony and I tried to believe that I was not being fooled with. I think I just didn't WANT to believe such a thing. I just went through the whole thing, said yes, and so did Ana to my surprise. Though that doesn't necessarily mean that our marriage had a fortunate continuation. Ana started to claim that she liked women, and at first I said "Oh dear, but that's awesome! Great! We can do great things with that!" but not much later she stated that she doesn't like men at all.

I was shattered in disbelief.

She told me that the woman she was whispering to during the ceremony was Visca, and that the whole thing was a set-up job, a plan originally started by Visca herself to destroy me and my image as the biggest hater of her club. Being that, she obviously hated me to death, and wanted to get rid of me. That's why she had me marry someone in a FC Barcelona coloured dress. She needed that to take as many pictures as she could, pictures of me at the altar with the goddamn Barcelona colours, spreading them all over the internet saying "Breaking news! Martijn in love with Barca!".

As soon as I found this out, I decided that I had to leave the country. Rightfully so, as the first crowds of disappointed, angry Barcelona haters started to form in front of our house. Windows were getting smashed, they were trying to get the door kicked in. They were on to Ana as well so I still had to protect her. I don't understand why I did that, instead of just leaving her behind, to her fate for betraying me. We went to a motel for the night, where I started to do all kinds of stupid things myself. I destroyed everything in our room in anger. Cracked the phone when they told me how long I was gonna have to wait for divorce papers, and what kinda shit was going to come with it... and when I got to our luggage, and noticed that the last things Ana had packed in the few moments she had to do so before we fled our home were FC Barcelona bikini's and thong... I asked her to put them on before I went on to destroy them. We had one final last stand that night, as the only way I felt I was gonna take my revenge was by literally fucking Barca... and I surely managed to strike back during that very moment...

Because not only did I rape Barca... I also... yes... you're right... I got her pregnant. I did.:boogy:

The morning after, I took the dirty bikini's and thong, and sent them to Visca via mail, after I got Ana as far as to tell me her address. I sent them along with a letter saying: "FC Barcelona sleeps with the fishes."

Visca of course kept it quiet but I took pictures before I sent it away, spreading them around the internet, telling people the true story... And my status as fierce Barcelona hater was soon back to its old state. Their evil plan had failed.

I divorced Ana, laughed at her being appointed to raise the kid... went home, thinking "everything went better than expected." I have no idea how Ana or my kid (I don't even know the gender) are doing. I hope she hates it.

Our marriage lasted for 2 days, 13 hours and 46 minutes.

Hahahahahha oh. my. God.

I can't even.......

Well, this could explain my lack of time for FIF for anyone who ever wondered anyway Being a single mum is a hard job - but when the dad's a piece of sh*t... y'know... it's gotta be done

 

[Native]

Hahahahahha oh. my. God.

I can't even.......

Well, this could explain my lack of time for FIF for anyone who ever wondered anyway Being a single mum is a hard job - but when the dad's a piece of sh*t... y'know... it's gotta be done

And I thank you for it

 

[Fitzy]

Hello Ana.

































































Banana.

 

[I4E]

Bahahaha the things you post when your drunk and sitting in front of the club you've been kicked out of

 

[Uncommon]

Fitzy was kicked out of AA?

/NVM. Just read Nerazzurro Down Under thread. :trollol:

 

[That's Unpossible]

i was ONCE engage with beautiful woman. she WAS WITH had the BROWN SKIN, LONG black hairs from her SCALP and big BROWN eyes. SHE was from SYRIA originally but MOVE TO FLORIDA, where i was PARTYING at the time. I think SHE WAS maybe a MODEL, but what I DO know is that JI HAD a great pair of chest packs. :lala:

TO CUT a long STORY TO the short, into a SHORT story, that IS SHORTER from the LONG story, we make the MEET in a nightclub one night. WE grinded and GROOVED to the DUBSTEP music from the club. AFTER we party all the NIGHT we head back to her place and HARLEM SHAKE all night in the BEDROOM, if you KNOW what i MEAN... She was CERTAINLY not SHIA in the bedroom... THE next DAY we meet up for SOME AFTERNOON lunch and a SPOT OF dogging in the EVENING. SOON we becomed in relationship WITH TO EACH other.

AFTER one months of BEING in RELATIONSHIP we were DRUNK one night parting and I PROPOSE to her in HEAT OF THE moment. SURPRISINGLY she said yes and later THAT night there was some PLAYING with her RING, if you know what I MEAN... (ASS HOLE ring... :lala

WE were to ENGAGE for two weeks, but then CALLED the engagement off BECAUSE we BOTH had to move go to OUR separate ways and I MEET this new SCANDINAVIAN girl who was SWED EN the bedroom... "SWEET IN" the bedroom. BUT that was only ONE night stand.

i think it IS GOOD for you to GET engaged if girl IS sexy. if I learned one THING from the girl from SYRIA is why they call them ASS-yrian. BECAUSE her ASS was phenomenal.

 

[Fapuccino]

What the fuck did I just read?

 

[Fitzy]

Unpossible is back!

 

[spork]

WOOOOOOOO PSYDUCK

 

[Devious]

i was ONCE engage with beautiful woman. she WAS WITH had the BROWN SKIN, LONG black hairs from her SCALP and big BROWN eyes. SHE was from SYRIA originally but MOVE TO FLORIDA, where i was PARTYING at the time. I think SHE WAS maybe a MODEL, but what I DO know is that JI HAD a great pair of chest packs. :lala:

TO CUT a long STORY TO the short, into a SHORT story, that IS SHORTER from the LONG story, we make the MEET in a nightclub one night. WE grinded and GROOVED to the DUBSTEP music from the club. AFTER we party all the NIGHT we head back to her place and HARLEM SHAKE all night in the BEDROOM, if you KNOW what i MEAN... She was CERTAINLY not SHIA in the bedroom... THE next DAY we meet up for SOME AFTERNOON lunch and a SPOT OF dogging in the EVENING. SOON we becomed in relationship WITH TO EACH other.

AFTER one months of BEING in RELATIONSHIP we were DRUNK one night parting and I PROPOSE to her in HEAT OF THE moment. SURPRISINGLY she said yes and later THAT night there was some PLAYING with her RING, if you know what I MEAN... (ASS HOLE ring... :lala

WE were to ENGAGE for two weeks, but then CALLED the engagement off BECAUSE we BOTH had to move go to OUR separate ways and I MEET this new SCANDINAVIAN girl who was SWED EN the bedroom... "SWEET IN" the bedroom. BUT that was only ONE night stand.

i think it IS GOOD for you to GET engaged if girl IS sexy. if I learned one THING from the girl from SYRIA is why they call them ASS-yrian. BECAUSE her ASS was phenomenal.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! YOU LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! :awwwyeah:

That`s like the best day ever! :excitedeyes:

 

[Devious]

So guys how is the marriage life? who`s doing the cooking and who`s washing the dishes?

I know Native changes the diapers, he`s always good handling shitty stuff.

 

[Native]

Ana disappeared, no idea where to. NP though, marriage is horrible, especially with a barca fan.

 

[Devious]

Tell that to my parents please.. "Devious! our dear son! we want to see your kids before we die! :yuno: "

Leave me alone old folks!

 

[Native]

Kids are the worst part.

 

[Guney]

okerface:

 

[Devious]

congrats! now you can officially fuck barca.

 

[Kakaroto]

Where is Ana I need to see her naked before we all die.

 

[Wobblz]

Did you get a divorce yet? 9 years is a long time.