Interview with Shahz

[Suneet]

I hate most Bollywood movies, you should just watch the good ones, there is some talent among a lot of crap. No hard feelings please shahz for the questions I'm asking. Exactly the SAME ones you asked. Love you. :dielaugh: Ok.

Ever been in a three some?

Your favourite sex position?

ass or boobs?

Favourite alcoholic drink?

Your favourite sex fantasy?

Do goth chicks turn you on?

You are 45, you are jobless, have no money, no house and no nothing, you are pretty much on the street, when you meet an Canadian fag, he offers you Canadian $1,000,000 for a quickie. Will you do it?

Adriana Lima comes to you, and tells you that her brother has a huge crush on you, and if you googity giggity with her brother, she will return the favour, for a whole week!!!. Your response?

Its Inter-Jube final in the CL, and Eng-Pak in the Football World Cup a month later . God comes to you, and tells you that only one of your supporting team is gonna win, the other is gonna loose, you get to choose. Your choice?

You get an invitation to play boy mansion, but its the Russian chics birthday, the same day. You can only go to one place. What do you do?

do you believe in Karma?

Why do think Americans are so dumb?

A guy that meets you at a party asks you, 'why do Pakistani men have such small *****es"? Your reply?

What countries have you been to?

The most embarassing thing you did when you were drunk?

thats it for now, sorry for the slightly adult and personal nature of the interview.

 

[shahz_nerazzurri]

How very original, and not lame at all Suneet.

Ever been in a three some?
Nope, but its on my to do list before I turn 30.

Your favourite sex position?
Missionary, I like to feel the chicks body, while doing it.

ass or boobs?
Both are important, but I am more of a boob man. As my favourite saying goes "Boobie is a must, bootie is a plus"

Favourite alcoholic drink?
Gin and Tonic.

Your favourite sex fantasy?
Favourite? I dont know I have so many.

I work as an exam invigilator. And I keep on day dreaming about this fantasy, when I am working.
I am conducting an exam, and its just me and a hot Brazilian chick, 36C and a great a*ss in the class. She looks panicked as she doesnt know shit about the exam. The she raises her hand and calls me. And talks to me in her hot brazilian accent
"Hi sir, I dont know any of the stuff in the paper, and I think I am gonna fail"
"Okay, then hand in your paper, and go"
"Sir, isnt there anyway, you can help me so I can pass, I really need to pass this exam, otherwise I will get kicked out of the university"
"What??? Are you telling me to help you cheat, are you out of your mind? I can take your paper right now, and tear it"
"Pls sir, I'll do anything, anything at all"
"No!!, wait, did you say 'anything'?
"Anything at all" She said with a sly smile on her face.
Okay so you guys know where this is going, I'll save you the remaining details, PM me if you guys wanna know the rest.

Also I have fantasies of getting stuck in an elevator for 12 hours, with a nice dumb blonde girl. "I am so bored, there is absolutely nothing to do". "Well, I can think of something we can do"

Blaah, and there are a hell lot more, if I start writing about it, we'll need to start a new topic.

Do goth chicks turn you on?
They do scare the crap out of me, but sometimes scared and depressed sex, is the best sex a guy can get.
"Lets not wear a condom, I dont want to help those conformist pigs by using their products, lets just make passionate love, till each and every part of our body hurts". Fu-ck yeah, I am up for that.


You are 45, you are jobless, have no money, no house and no nothing, you are pretty much on the street, when you meet an Canadian fag, he offers you Canadian $1,000,000 for a quickie. Will you do it?
For a million bucks? that could be my only chance to get my life back on track, I'll probably do it.

Adriana Lima comes to you, and tells you that her brother has a huge crush on you, and if you googity giggity with her brother, she will return the favour, for a whole week!!!. Your response?
I'll do it, as disgusted as I am by homos, getting Lima for a week?? Worth it.


Its Inter-Jube final in the CL, and Eng-Pak in the Football World Cup a month later . God comes to you, and tells you that only one of your supporting team is gonna win, the other is gonna loose, you get to choose. Your choice?
Firstly Pak doesnt play football. Secondly the day England wins the WC is the day I am gonna die. But Jube beating Inter? Thats gonna scar me for life. I dont know, dont ask me these hypothetical questions.


You get an invitation to play boy mansion, but its the Russian chics birthday, the same day. You can only go to one place. What do you do?
That Russian chick can go and finger herself on her birthday, I'll be in the mansion finding myself new and hotter Russian chicks.

do you believe in Karma?
Nope.

Why do think Americans are so dumb?
God made American chicks dumb and beautiful, so it would be easy for guys all over the world to take advantage of them, then amercain guys became dumb becasue dumbness is one of the STDs. Thats why I always wear a condom when doing an American chick.

A guy that meets you at a party asks you, 'why do Pakistani men have such small *****es"? Your reply?
Mate you need to brush up on you history, back in 1947, when the Britishers left the sub-continent, there was a big problem. Indian men are known to have small pen-ises, but among those people, there were a good percentage with larger pensi*ses. That percanetage didnt wanted to be associated with having a small pe*nis all their lives, so they decided to to fight, and get a land for themselves, where they would only allow men with larger peni*ses and there family to come, and hence Pakistan was formed, meaning "the land of the bigger peni*ses". So its is the Indians who have small peni*ses, and not Pakistani's. If you dont believe me, lemme borrow your GF for a couple of hours, and I can show it to her.

What countries have you been to?
Saudia, Pak, Bahrain, UAE and Canada.


The most embarassing thing you did when you were drunk?
I dont do embarrasing things, when I am drunk, I just do stupid things. Embarrassment is what you feel, after doing these stupid things, and I am usually too hammered to feel anything.

I'll have to go with going to a club, getting drunk, then getting my ankle twisted, and then drinking until the pain passes away, and then dancing on one leg. The next morning I couldnt walk at all, and it turned out that I had stretched my ligaments, and had to wear a cast for 2 weeks.

Also I pee'd in the middle of a major intersection at 2am, on the way back from a pub, just cause my friends bet me 10 bucks, that I couldnt. Had a couple of cars go past by me, honking.

 

[pablito]

when do you plan to come down-under?

 

[Suneet]

The next time you come to the UAE, let me know. Great answer bout the peni*ses even though its not true.

I answered your hypothetical question, you should too. But great answers.

 

[kylan05]

What's her name?
Why do you wanna know?.

Just curious. So I can voodoo her so she'll love u back seriously, just one of the automatic question girl ask following the question before that.

If you could describe yourself in 3 words, what would they be?
Personality: Honest, Truthful, Sensitive.

U should start thinking of using the word "funny". Chicks like funny dudes, ones that can make them laugh all night (& day)

 

[shahz_nerazzurri]

when do you plan to come down-under?
Well lets see, uhhh probably never. Its not on my priority list, I have to go to a few other places before I even think about down under, like Amsterdam, Sao Paulo, Cuba, Bahamas, Dominican Republic, Milan, Florence, Eidenhoven, Cairo, Cape Town, Kauala Lampur, Dhaka, Addis Ababa etc etc before I can come down under.

Great answer bout the peni*ses even though its not true.
Mate do you really want to publish that article, where it said that there was a shortage of 'small size' condoms in India, cause every one bought the small size, and no one wanted the large size one's?? Then you guys would come in to Pakistan, to get the small size condoms from the shops, cause in Paksitan they were in excess, as most of the people use the XL one's.
Ahh you asked for it.

The Indian Council of Medical Research, a leading state-run center, said its initial findings from a two-year study showed 60 percent of men in the financial capital Mumbai had *****es about 1 inch shorter than those condoms catered for.For a further 30 percent, the difference was at least 2 inches. A poor fit meant the prophylactics often didn't do the job they were bought for, and led to some tearing or slipping off during use.
Another research also showed that around 42% of adult men, travelling to Lahore from Delhi, through the new bus system established between the two cities were actually going there to buy the small size condoms from the markets over there, as Pakistani men hardly ever use these small condoms.

A recent statistics by Trojan, the condom manfacturing giants, have shown that their XL condoms, "Magnum" were the most popular choices of Pakistani adults.

I dont really know why, I think its because you guys are neighboring China or something.




So I can voodoo her so she'll love u back
Alya Schayuk, pls voodoo her for me.


U should start thinking of using the word "funny". Chicks like funny dudes, ones that can make them laugh all night (& day)
Blaah doesn't really work, I met this chick, and I told her a really funny story about how one of my friend was caught by his GF, wanking of to a home made video he had made with his ex. I thought it was hilarious, but that girl got pissed and left, maybe she just didnt have a sense of humour.

 

[kylan05]

She probably thought u're some sort of pervert

 

[Handoyo]

@ the India - Pakistan pen!s thing.

 

[Suneet]

lol @ Pakistani's using condoms, they use them as sleeping bags or something perhaps, I think like India's villages all families have about 6-8 children

Seriously though, our countries would have been much greater if all of us were properly educated.

 

[kylan05]

I'm bored, so I'll ask Shahz some more questions

What's the most embarassing things ever happened to you?
What's a childhood dream that u don't care anymore now?
When will u finish ur study?
What's the 1st thing u'd do if u win a lottery right now?
Will u befriend Hal if he turns out to be a good friend of Alya?
If u could change 1 thing about ur body, what would it be?
Have u ever been serious about anything, other than final exam?

 

[shahz_nerazzurri]

What's the most embarassing things ever happened to you?
And Why would I wanna tell you that?

What's a childhood dream that u don't care anymore now?
When I was 9, I wanted to get into Jennifer Aniston's pants, not anymore.

When will u finish ur study?
Considering the amount of courses that I repeat, probably never. I'll finish my Honours degree probably in a year, after that it's another 3 year for Chartered Accountancy. So yeah, probably never.

What's the 1st thing u'd do if u win a lottery right now?
Order a couple of 18 year old brazilian strippers from Rio De Janeiro. Its also cool if they are actually 16 or 17, but have fake passports that show their ages as 18. Actually it works out for the best for all of us.

Will u befriend Hal if he turns out to be a good friend of Alya?
Hell yeah, then slowly move Hal out of the picture, wont be that hard, considering he is in to men anyways. How is the Voodo going?

If u could change 1 thing about ur body, what would it be?
I know what you guys are thinking, but I wont change that, its perfect. Chinese chicks usually scream and run away when they see it.
Probably want to gain a few pounds, as I am too thin.

Have u ever been serious about anything, other than final exam?
The sad thing is I am not even serious about the final exams.
But on to your question, Inter!!

 

[shahz_nerazzurri]

lol @ Pakistani's using condoms, they use them as sleeping bags or something perhaps
sleeping bags?? I dont get your point/joke.


I think like India's villages all families have about 6-8 children
Classic case of condom slipping or tearing, because of being too big. Personally this has never happened to me, but it happens to my Indian friends all the time.

Seriously though, our countries would have been much greater if all of us were properly educated.
What has education got to do with it? Its a case of either the Extra small size condoms not being available cause of being sold out, or Indian guys being too shy to ask for it. But why would they be shy in India to ask for it? I mean over there, every body's is pretty small.
That reminds of a funny story that happened once, I was with some chick at a pharmacy once, purchasing the 'morning after' pills. There was this Indian guy infront of me at the check out counter. He said something very queitly to the blonde girl working over there, she replies loudly "Sir, the small condoms are over there along with the rest of the condoms". The indian guy once again said some thing very quietly to the blonde "check out" girl, that bi*tch once again replied very loudly "Oh, you want the extra small condoms, sorry sir we dont carry those, you may get those at the pharmacy down the block". The indian guy hurried out of the door, completely red. It could have also been because of the fact, that I started laughing before he had left the store.

 

[Suneet]

lol @ Pakistani's using condoms, they use them as sleeping bags or something perhaps
sleeping bags?? I dont get your point/joke.


I think like India's villages all families have about 6-8 children
Classic case of condom slipping or tearing, because of being too big. Personally this has never happened to me, but it happens to my Indian friends all the time.

Seriously though, our countries would have been much greater if all of us were properly educated.
What has education got to do with it? Its a case of either the Extra small size condoms not being available cause of being sold out, or Indian guys being too shy to ask for it. But why would they be shy in India to ask for it? I mean over there, every body's is pretty small.
That reminds of a funny story that happened once, I was with some chick at a pharmacy once, purchasing the 'morning after' pills. There was this Indian guy infront of me at the check out counter. He said something very queitly to the blonde girl working over there, she replies loudly "Sir, the small condoms are over there along with the rest of the condoms". The indian guy once again said some thing very quietly to the blonde "check out" girl, that bi*tch once again replied very loudly "Oh, you want the extra small condoms, sorry sir we dont carry those, you may get those at the pharmacy down the block". The indian guy hurried out of the door, completely red. It could have also been because of the fact, that I started laughing before he had left the store.

You are too serious about peni*es. Fine man you win.

Jennifer aniston's ass is the cutest and hotest ever combined.

 

[Adam]

This is the best interview yet! Definitly one of the funniest members of the forum.

I have a question but it's not really a question, more of an inquiry.

You said in another thread that homosexuality was a choice and it got me thinking. Maybe I've been wrong all these years and it is in fact something you can choose. But then I thought some more, and I remembered something about my years as a young man. I was sitting in class admiring the female bodies of my classmates. I allowed my eyes to fiest on their curves and shapes and their tight, somewhat slutty clothes, only made me all the more excited. Some days a girl would drop her pencil and bend over to pick it up it, and let me tell you, it was like being a kid on Christmas morning! Then all of a sudden, for no apparant reason, my dick would get hard. I had to pray the teacher wouldnt ask me to stand up, as I am blessed in many ways, and didn't want to cause jealousy and possibly inflict a severe inferioritycomplex on my classmates.

Luckily, it never happened that the teacher called for me to stand up but the fear of possibly damaging my mates selfworth was always there, as it happened atleast a couple times a month that I got a boner in class.

So logicly, if gays can choose to not be attracted to men, then I should be able to choose to not be attracted to women, and therefore I could of spared myself a lot of grief as a young man. The kind of grief I would want to spare my son as I'm sure he will be just as blessed as I am.

So therefore Professor Shahz, I ask you humbly of your help for the good of future generations of my male bloodline. Please give me the secrets on how to choose, for my dick not to get hard all by itself when no one is bothering it.

 

[Suneet]

Shahz's next reply will make this thread win the FI Oscar this year

 

[NimAraya]

1. Which english team you hate most?
2. Which english player you hate most?
3. Which english manager you hate most?
4. If you were alone with alex fergie, Wes Brown, rio ferdinand and wayne ronnie in a desert, which one you kill first?
5. Which part of Steven Gerard's face you think is more enjoyable part to kick hard?

 

[kylan05]

What's the most embarassing things ever happened to you?
And Why would I wanna tell you that?

Coz my source of power said the voodoo won't work unless Shahz tells what Kylan wants to know
Ok. So we can use it against u, agree people?

Don't u love XL for his question? :dielaugh:

 

[shahz_nerazzurri]

XL mate, I said homosexuality was a choice, I didnt say heterosexuality was a choice. For me, we are not born homo or hetero, but heterosexuality is the natural order of the world. We have a pen*is, that goes in to a vag*ina, to produce a child, if homosexuality was the natural order of world, then scissoring or ass f*ck would result in a child, it doesnt.
A guy will always get a boner, at the sight of a girl bending to pick up her pencil. its whats in his nature.

Going back to the original question in hand, which was how to make sure that XL and his future generation dont have a thin visible man outline, when they are in a public place.
Here are some tips which should be helpful.
1) Give youself a good rub and tug in the morning before leaving your house.
2) Wear a proper underwear. Remember its not cool for guys to leave house with out an underwear. When a chick does it, its sexy, when a guy does it, its gross.
3) If your whole fear is based on the fact that every one will see your thin outline, stuff yourself. Socks are usually the best options, but you can be imaginative.
4) Statistically its proven, that guys who get laid often, have 73% less chance of getting a boner in a public place, than horny virgin f*ucks. But I guess thats probably a difficult option for you.
5) Stop taking Viagra at night before you go to bed, just for the fun of it.

Thanks for reminding me about my school days though. Ahhhh I remember those days like it was yesterday, Middle school, I would purposefully drop my pencil, and ask that cute Tiwanese girl, Xinha to pick it up. Those lovely teddy bears on her underwear.
I also remember how one of my teachers would show too much of her clevage, and I would always ask her to check my work on my desk, so she would have too bend over. That red push up bra, mondays to fridays. I wonder if she ever washed it? I used to hope not. I was only 11 at that time, but I still liked it dirty.

 

[shahz_nerazzurri]

1. Which english team you hate most?
I dont discriminate, I hate them all equally.

2. Which english player you hate most?
All of them, but I just cant stand spice boy.

3. Which english manager you hate most?
English managers? What are those??

4. If you were alone with alex fergie, Wes Brown, rio ferdinand and wayne ronnie in a desert, which one you kill first?
WestBrown and Rio I dont care about, but I would make Rooney blow Ferguson, and in one shot, get them both.

5. Which part of Steven Gerard's face you think is more enjoyable part to kick hard?
Nothing in the head anyways, so I'll go with his nose.

 

[Adam]

XL mate, I said homosexuality was a choice, I didnt say heterosexuality was a choice. For me, we are not born homo or hetero, but heterosexuality is the natural order of the world. We have a pen*is, that goes in to a vag*ina, to produce a child, if homosexuality was the natural order of world, then scissoring or ass f*ck would result in a child, it doesnt.
A guy will always get a boner, at the sight of a girl bending to pick up her pencil. its whats in his nature.

Wow, basicly what you just said is that the millions upon millions(of the Rock's fans) of openly gay people around the World are just "acting" Paranoia, the first sign. Seriously bro, lay off the weed. At least for a couple of months.

Going back to the original question in hand, which was how to make sure that XL and his future generation dont have a thin visible man outline, when they are in a public place.
Here are some tips which should be helpful.
1) Give youself a good rub and tug in the morning before leaving your house.
2) Wear a proper underwear. Remember its not cool for guys to leave house with out an underwear. When a chick does it, its sexy, when a guy does it, its gross.
3) If your whole fear is based on the fact that every one will see your thin outline, stuff yourself. Socks are usually the best options, but you can be imaginative.
4) Statistically its proven, that guys who get laid often, have 73% less chance of getting a boner in a public place, than horny virgin f*ucks. But I guess thats probably a difficult option for you.
5) Stop taking Viagra at night before you go to bed, just for the fun of it.

:dielaugh: Good shit. But don't kid yourself man. I'm of Polish ancestry and we all know there's a big difference between a lil' bit of kebab and a nice thick kielbasa.

Thanks for reminding me about my school days though. Ahhhh I remember those days like it was yesterday, Middle school, I would purposefully drop my pencil, and ask that cute Tiwanese girl, Xinha to pick it up. Those lovely teddy bears on her underwear.
I also remember how one of my teachers would show too much of her clevage, and I would always ask her to check my work on my desk, so she would have too bend over. That red push up bra, mondays to fridays. I wonder if she ever washed it? I used to hope not. I was only 11 at that time, but I still liked it dirty.

That's a great story, dude. Takes me back but is that supposed to be some kind of testament to your masculinity? "Only" 11.

I did that when I was 7. At 9 I was plottin' rapes. I never actually commited any, because I learned it was very wrong, and not something anyone should do(remember that kids) but I had ideas that would scare the shit out of Jenna Jameson.

But it's so adorable that you think 11 is an early age to be thinking about sex. Really, very cute. You must have been the perfect little angel. So innocent and without sin.