Interview with Martijn

[ADRossi]

You are contractually obligated to accept

1. State your name
2. Location
3. Age
4. Favourite member
5. Most inappropriate thing you have done with Universe
6. How many times a day do you visit FI?
7. Who was you hero when you were 10?
8. Member of FIF you're most likely to elope with
9. Hottest female you've ever seen in person (picture required)
10. Any siblings?
11. Life goals?
12. Member you would most like to maroon on an island
13. Member you would sacrifice the most for to get him off an island
14. Rank the following Victoria's Secrets models in order: Miranda Kerr, Adriana Lima, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Candice Swanepoel, Erin Heatherton. You cannot include ties, and must include picture rankings
15. Best sporting event you've ever attended in person

Describe the following members in 3 words or less

Handoyo
Michael
Lionheart
Snake
Dino
Universe
Fitzy
Raul Duke
I4E
ADRossi
Visca
Coaster
Kato
Ana
FCBarca
Vasilios
Stefan
N4L
NNinja
CrzdColombian
Willy

Provide captions for the following pictures:

 

[Coasterfreek]

How did you become an Inter supporter?

 

[Big Willy]

1- Which pornstar you've dedicated most of your faps?
2- There's 10 gold bars in the floor, but behind you is Dino. Will you crouch down to grab them?
3- Biggest shit you've ever had (Picture required okerface
4- What's your opinion about NeonBlade
5- Do you think Nerazurri Ninja, snake, Dyna and ADRossi are the same person?
6- Worst avatar in the forum
7- Which one is better, Rivas or Gresko?
8- Strongest weed you've ever had?

 

[Handoyo]

How did you become a Barca supporter?

 

[I4E]

^ oh dear...

Handyo should ban himself for trolling

 

[Visca]

Someone offers you 1 million euro to put on a Barca shirt and go out in public (there are absolutely zero loopholes here so don't come up with one). Do you do it?

PS: it's the tequila sunrise shirt.

 

[Sokrates]

You are watching Barca - Inter in the Camp Nou.

Then the stadium-speaker chooses 1 person from the tribunes to come into the middle of the field to submit Messi an award for "World's best player".
The "choosen" person is... YOU :troll:

90k people look at you, what would you do?

 

[I4E]

Someone offers you 1 million euro to put on a Barca shirt and go out in public (there are absolutely zero loopholes here so don't come up with one). Do you do it?

PS: it's the tequila sunrise shirt.

For €1m ??? 90% of the current Inter squad would do that

 

[FCBarca]

Is it confusing for you when you watch a drama/thriller/action film and find yourself always identifying with the villain?

 

[Ed.]

Will you date Visca in Camp Nou?

 

[Native]

1. State your name
Martijn.

2. Location
Barcelona. I'm often inside of Barça. If yerrr know wht ai me3n

3. Age
593568000 seconds.

Fine, I'll help you. It comes down to approximately 18 years and 10 months.

4. Favourite member
Hamsu... - Erm, I mean, any member supporting the legalization of weed around the world. Trust me, it would do us good.

5. Most inappropriate thing you have done with Universe
I was born inside of him.

6. How many times a day do you visit FI?
Very often, especially when being bored at college/work. I can't count something like that. I often visit FIF directly after starting my browser as I have this habit to open three tabs directly after doing so, and I use them immediately to go to Facebook, FIF and my fetish animal porn site. Now that last one may sound weird, but it's not that bad. I only open it when I open my internet browser again. If I have to guess, I'd guess I visit FIF 30 - 40 times a day.

7. Who was you hero when you were 10?
Wesley Sneijder (no kidding), Teletubbies, and those weird gardeners on tv at late night who tend to get naked as soon as the proprietress comes home. Damn, those guys had balls.

8. Member of FIF you're most likely to elope with
eNz

9. Hottest female you've ever seen in person (picture required)
I once saw Lisa Wade in Amsterdam, she is a presenter for some television shows here. Her career started with some informative show for children, nowadays she does normal shit on another channel. Maybe she's not the hottest one per se but something about her just magically attracts me, maybe the fact that she's not a pimped up model or slutty porn star but just normal and natural. She has this cute and innocent impression. She looks like 16 while she is 33. Brunette. I think that for me personally this is the best looking woman in the world. Completely fits my 'style'. I automatically started to drool when I saw her.

Better than a picture: you can see her in this YouTube video. Presenting some program ('Klokhuis') for the old kids channel. Skip to 0.22, that's where she starts. Watch video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=FevjTKOnHTI


10. Any siblings?
Two sisters.

...

No, you're too old for them.

11. Life goals?
I obviously can't be completely objective about that yet, at this age, and I'm aware of that. But I believe a few things are certain. First thing is that I do not want to have a job where I literally waste my life doing nothing productive. Like an accountant, for example. I am a creative person and I want to design and produce things. I am a media designer, I design posters, flyers, magazines, etc. But I also make videos or websites sometimes. I also draw a lot. Weed is what got me good at that, I can make very detailed and deep drawings. My goal is to have a job with these things and, with these elements, create collections of things I can look back at and be proud of after I have retired, when the biggest part of my life is over. Something that stays long after I'm gone. In future generations of my own family for example. Something that shows people who and what I was and what my style/philosophy was. As that's what I try to convey in my designs. This is what would make me satisfied, being able to see what I have done and brought for people. If I had been an accountant all my life, nothing would remain from it. No one would really care about me retiring 'cause I'd be replaced in a day. I'm afraid that when I'd be in that situation that then, when you're rotting away behind the geraniums, I'd wonder what I have done, been good for, and I'd come to the conclusion that I completely wasted all these years I should have used so much better. I would get depressed. It's hard to explain what I mean here but I hope you get the point. Basically the goal is to achieve something in life and have satisfaction when it's over. I find this important in a country like Holland, 'cause it's quite a long haul here, having to work 'till your 67th.

Second thing is that if my bank account would ever allow it, I want to get a simple vacation house somewhere in Italy. I have been obsessed with that country far before I became Interista or cared about football in general. Italy has everything, but it's atmosphere and culture are what attract me most. The old styled places in Sicily for example. That's exactly the atmosphere I would die for. I feel the urge to be there. I am also going to learn the Italian language. That's something I am very sure about. I'm sure I can do it because I've always been good with languages. I am partly learning it for Inter 'cause that's what got me over the line definitively. This all was partly what got me to Inter as well. Having the house in or close to Milano would therefore be obvious, but Milano is not the same as the ancient style I am talking about. This is the problem about this. Can't choose the location. I also don't want to live in Italy permanently, 'cause I can't be out of Holland too long without getting strong nostalgia.

I'll leave this question further 'cause I don't want to start writing books...

12. Member you would most like to maroon on an island
None of you, honestly.

13. Member you would sacrifice the most for to get him off an island
I don't have to mention FCBarca and Visca, 'cause I'm quite sure they know perfectly how to dive and swim. I don't know really. Perhaps blackmore. I had fights with him but the thing is I didn't know him at all at the time and thought he was being dead serious. Apparently he's known as the master of provoking, and that was all he was doing to me as well. Which became clear when he returned after his ban and tried to do it to me again. He was never serious, and was trolling me to death (oops, forget these last two words). So in the end, I was the one being owned, big time. And if someone is able to own me in a way like that, I can only respect that. I probably don't have to say sorry to him because I'm sure he only enjoyed the arguments, but I still feel like I should do something to make it up. Perhaps saving his life by getting him off that island may suffice. If it doesn't, maybe putting him on an island with crzdcolombian, and THEN letting me get him off may work.

14. Rank the following Victoria's Secrets models in order: Miranda Kerr, Adriana Lima, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Candice Swanepoel, Erin Heatherton. You cannot include ties, and must include picture rankings

Goddamnit man, I had to fap first. I was wrong. YOU are the master of provoking.

I will rate them by amounts of :drool:'s

Adriana Lima:

Score: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool:

Miranda Kerr:

Score: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool:

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley:

Score: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool:

Candice Swanepoel:

Score: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool:

Erin Heatherton:

Score: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool:

I love brunettes so fucking much. Especially this Brazilian one is just mind-blowing. Just wanna grab that creamy brown body and it all the way over.

This is the best picture, but this time not just because of the woman, but because of the woman combined with the background.

15. Best sporting event you've ever attended in person

I haven't been to many. I think it was Netherlands - San Marino. Doesn't look like a very special match, but in some ways it was. A few records were set here. 11-0 was our greatest victory ever, the previous one was 9-0. Our first double-digit win. Sneijder scored the #10th goal. There were more records I forgot about. Just feels good to have been there, witnessing it live in real life and supporting them at the time they set the 11-0 and co.

I also saw Bert in real life. Everything was just perfect. And the steam-rolling was fun to see.

Describe the following members in 3 words or less

Handoyo - Lvely
Michael - Journalist
Lionheart - Awesome, epic, fappy
Snake - :hssssssnak:
Dino - Anally born
Universe - (Big)Bangs a lot
Fitzy - Thanks a lot
Raul Duke - Like a Duke
I4E - Intelligent
ADRossi - Valentino Karimi de Rossi
Visca - Only sane farcafucker
Coaster - Chocolate milk
Kato - Missed forum legend
Anal Banana -
FCBarca - Worst Non-Inter
Vasilios - Greek. VVVAAAAASSSIIILLIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSS!!!!!
Stefan - Fearsome administrator
N4L - Interesting
NNinja - From parallel universe
CrzdColombian - Guarin, Falcao
Willy - Wants your willy

Provide captions for the following pictures:

'Your nipples are already hard! Let me pleasure you further...'

'Oh no, about to get kicked in the head. Never mind, I'll use it as an excuse to kiss his sack. Yummm... Spain players love sack.'

'Hmmm! Brother, your balls are hitting me in the ass hard.'

'Dude what, what are you doing with my balls?'
'Nothing. Just want to return the one thats missing.'

'Shut it, bitch, my boobs are fabulous!'

'Whatever', says 15 and pregnant.

 

[Big Willy]

And the rest of the questions? kay:

 

[Native]

Will do them later, dinner first

 

[Coasterfreek]

Do ban anything that has a combination of Blaugrana in the house? That goes for non-Barca stuff that happens to be colored red and blue?

 

[ADRossi]

14. Rank the following Victoria's Secrets models in order: Miranda Kerr, Adriana Lima, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Candice Swanepoel, Erin Heatherton. You cannot include ties, and must include picture rankings

Goddamnit man, I had to fap first. I was wrong. YOU are the master of provoking.

I will rate them by amounts of :drool:'s

Adriana Lima:

Score: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool:

Miranda Kerr:

Score: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool:

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley:

Score: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool:

Candice Swanepoel:

Score: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool:

Erin Heatherton:

Score: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool:

I love brunettes so fucking much. Especially this Brazilian one is just mind-blowing. Just wanna grab that creamy brown body and it all the way over.

This is the best picture, but this time not just because of the woman, but because of the woman combined with the background.

Best interview question yet tbh

 

[Devious]

1- You, eNz and dynasty and hanging out tonight, where would you go and what would you do?

2- You see Messi, Inista and Xavi walking down the street. they go into a dark ally, you go after them, a stranger with an evil laugh with a shirt written on it "Devious, mate" gives you a gun, a knife and an acid bottle. How you`re gona use them in details.

3- You won 100 million dollars. name the first 10 things that comes up in your mind to do with this money.

4- How was it when we won the CL? where were you and how did you act after hearing the whistle?

5- Do you think about death sometimes?

6- Which of the Hollywood heroes would you like to be? why?

7- Which of those would you like to be: a) being rich and unhappy. b) being not rich but mostly happy.

8- Enough serious questions now.. so If you were offered to bang either Monica Belluci or Emma Watson, which one would you not choose? why not ARE YOU FAG? :fffuuu:

9- How many toes do you have?

10- Do you like to move it move it? I mean really to move it move it? YOU LIKE TOOOO??

End.

 

[KevinB]

If you had to choose between Heineken and Horse piss what would you drink :troll: ?

 

[snake]

Another fuck barca thread?

Sent from my HTC One X using Tapatalk 2

 

[Pharaoh]

FUCK BARCA

 

[Native]

FUCK BARCA

---------- Post added at 05:29 ---------- Previous post was at 03:46 ----------

Coasterfreek:

Do ban anything that has a combination of Blaugrana in the house? That goes for non-Barca stuff that happens to be colored red and blue?

I don't really have anything blue/red in the house at all, because I think it's an ugly color-combination in general. But whenever I see, make or buy something and it happens to have a combination of those colors on it, I always change them if I can or put it back. An example: I was about to try a pair of trousers a few weeks ago and the color was black. But when I took it I saw there was a red line on the back side. This reminded me of bbilan and I refused to wear that combination, thus put it back and moved on. I also do that with barca colors.

Devious:

1- You, eNz and dynasty and hanging out tonight, where would you go and what would you do?

This actually happened before. I will tell you how it went and probably would go again.

It was a dark, cold winter night in the heart of Berlin. I had no idea what I was getting into, was quiet all the time and dynasty was staring into the stars in the clear sky above us with a very strange, unusually tight, sleek look in his eyes, completely in his own world. eNz was the only one able to come up with an idea. Out of any inspiration he simply suggested that we'd go to a pub and at least get drunk. We went and while drinking a German beer that did not only taste but also smell like piss, we watched the tv in the corner of the room. The pub was filled with screaming football-fans. Turned out this was because of a Bayern - Inter match going on on the tv. It was the CL final of 2010. Realizing that we were in Berlin, we knew that cheering for Inter in this pub full of drunk Bayern-supporters as the only three Inter-supporters would probably not be a great idea. Dynasty began singing a song about guards singing an evil song to mutated burning ants. eNz and I were watching it with disbelief until after a few minutes we realized that it was just dynasty27 tripping again, and that he was trying to bring over a message. He was trying to interact with us in the 'normal' world from inside his own space world. Dynasty has experienced parallel universes. After a while we started to understand him. He wanted us to get a bodyguard to protect us from the evil Bayern-fans. eNz then came up with a great suggestion: 'Since we're in Berlin, we should get that sweet, muscled Lionheart as our bodyguard! He lives here, and he also has this deep hatred for Bayern.' During halftime we went to do some research with the municipality where we tracked down his address. We went there and knocked on the door. A man with his wet underpants still hanging half on his knees opened up, looking us deeply and evilly in the eyes. Ready to knock out anyone interrupting his CL-final. We quickly explained who we were and what we were coming for, and thus asked him to join us in the pub, watch the rest of the game there and protect us from the evil. He agreed because he thought it would be genius hanging around in real with FIF-members and was very certainly in the mood of smashing Bayern-fans this special night.

Back in the pub, dynasty, eNz and I were finally no longer afraid to cheer for our team, so we did. We even had a lion dressed in black and blue roaring next to us. Each and every Bayern-supporter was watching us in astonishment, but when they only looked at our Lionheart, they immediately turned into pussies and looked back again. After Inter won, we were screaming for an hour straight, and got kicked out of pub. Outside dynasty offered us to join him with his final shots of LSD to celebrate Inter's achievement. It took him some time to convince us that trying it once couldn't hurt, but doing it turned out to be a bad idea. Our protector turned out to be our harassment. Lionheart, with the highest and sleekest face ever, couldn't handle it anymore, turned into rage mode and started fighting with Bayern-supporters who were teasing us. It turned out to be a night full of riots and vandalism. All of us were arrested and taken to the police station. Dynasty was sent to prison for drug posession and abuse, eNz and I were extradited to our own countries. What happened to Lionheart? No one knows. But the story goes he was signaled in the USA, and wanted to stay there because it was much better than Germany.

How Dynasty managed to get out of prison (if he did) to post on FIF again is also a mystery, no one has asked him yet. But eNz and I were free to go after a week in jail and 30 days of community service. This was basically what happened on our first meeting, and what were the consequences. I would avoid ever having a FIF-meeting in real-life if I were you.

2- You see Messi, Inista and Xavi walking down the street. they go into a dark ally, u go after them, a stranger with an evil laugh with a shirt written on it "Devious, mate" gives you a gun, a knife and an acid bottle. How you`re gona use them in details.

I would give the gun to Messi, the knife to Iniesta and the acid bottle to Xavi. I would go to a pub with them. I would order Messi to threaten the guard with the gun to get us in for free. I would then order Iniesta to threaten the bartender with the knife and rob a few bottles of vodka and a barrel of beer. We would run and I'd take them to a safe lone place and get drunk together. Then I'd have a nice conversation with these people about what I hate about them and why, ask them they do it and ask them to behave normally. To stop diving, for example. I would also ask them to try and make me understand them, to explain why they are who they are, so that I maybe could find some understanding in it and respect it. This however would definitely fail 100% anyway, though. I'd go on until we would get busted by the cops, and then order Xavi to pose like he is about to empty the acid bottle on my head. The cops will find and see him in that position and think I am being threatened by three criminals and Xavi is about to kill me, so they will shoot Xavi in the stomach. I would then pick up the bottle and throw it to Messi and Iniesta, making them get touched by the acid luiqid, literally burning them half away. In the end, I will be free of any charges because I was the victim, and throwing the bottle to Messi and Iniesta will be considered self-defence, and thus legal. Messi will be blamed for threatening the guard with a gun, Iniesta for doing the same with a knife to a bartender and robbing his supplies, and Xavi for attempted manslaughter. They would rot away in jail while already being heavily injured and maimed by respectively acid and a bullet, and I would be free, after having had a good night of drinking beer and vodka completely for free. And I would finally have made Messi, Xavi and Iniesta know that I hate them and why, before also taking revenge on them.

What a night that would be.

3- You won 100 million dollars. name the first 10 things that comes up in your mind to do with this money.

Buy the AC Milan forums and Juventus forums and change their design into black and blue. Also unban and allow any Interisti joining them to troll there. I would also make Emma Watson my slave in the villa I'd buy in the heart of Italy. Oh, and a nice car.

4- How was it when we won the CL? where were you and how did you act after hearing the whistle?

It wasn't in any special circumstances for me, to be honest. Not many of my friends really like football or give a shit about it, and the ones who do love it live way too far away from me to come over for a night. So I was watching it home with those last people on msn, watching with me. I did however still have the same weird tourette-like screams whenever Inter was getting close to a goal that I also always have in derbies after another goal against bilan. I still hurt my hands because I was hitting the ceiling with cheering. I certainly enjoyed it. But I rarely spoke about it with people around me, because I had only been following Inter for two - three years. Cause football started to interest me only when I was ~13. Inter is what got me into it. Anyway, I knew people would be going to call me a glory hunter, even though I had never seen it coming (Inter winning CL). And I was only going to find this forum half a year later. So all in all, it went pretty quiet for me.

5- Do you think about death sometimes?

Hahaha, I know why you ask this. But the answer is yes. Often with others. Often when stoned.

6- Which of the Hollywood heroes would you like to be? why?

I don't know many names out of my head because I HATE commerce and the whole fake autotuned hollywood slut world, but I'd like to be any actor working with hot actresses or porn stars in erotic movies. I'm sure I don't have to explain why.

7- Which of those would you like to be: a) being rich and unhappy. b) being not rich but mostly happy.

Obviously B. About option A, being unhappy with life is a disgusting and depressing feeling and looking at your bank account will only make you realize how worthless it is. As even though you have so much money, you're still a depressed little wimp. This idea might make you feel like you've failed even harder... and only make things worse.

8- Enough serious questions now.. so If you were offered to bang either Monica Belluci or Emma Watson, which one would you not choose? why not ARE YOU FAG? :fffuuu:

I wouldn't choose. I would get rid of whoever 'offers' this to me and take them both.

9- How many toes do you have?

11, including a cameltoe.

10- Do you like to move it move it? I mean really to move it move it? YOU LIKE TOOOO??
No, I don't.

I'll do the rest later, have to work now.